Sunday, May 6, 2007

Should older men beyond 40 date women from 17 to 25?

Imhotep,

Now. I don't want to be disrespectful to anyone reading this post., but there are other sides to this story that carry a lot of weight. :-) I must say that I agree with the young lady from Kansas City. When I was thirty one, I had no use for anyone over thirty five.

That is normal. Young people are naturally attracted to other young people. People who are FIT are naturally attracted to other fit people. People who are beautiful/handsome are naturally attracted to other handsome/beautiful people.

Just the same with the TREMENDOUS numbers of black women choosing to have many babies out of wedlock, then they let the White doctors sterilize them, by tying their tubes, performing unnecessary hysterectomies, or other dangerous procedures. So all that is left for people like me is to get to raise the children of other men, many of whom are questionable in morals, ethics, and intelligence. That simply is not a viable option for me, and I suspect MOST other decent black men feel the same way, although they are probably to frightened of the wrath of black women to admit it in a public forum as I am doing now.

Well, that is to bad. The truth needs to be told. This is not a one sided issue. It is not all the Black Mans fault, nor is ALL the black woman’s fault. In most disagreements between genders, there are three sides to every story. Your side. My side. And the truth which is usually somewhere in betwixt the two. So here is my story, and here is why any woman of any ethnic group, that I find attractive, is of age, and likes me, needs to watch out in a good sort of way. J

Personally, I would much prefer to be with a woman around 35 to 45. They can wind my clock just as good or better than 18 to 30 year olds.

Having said that. sadly my situation is that my first wife who was 18 and I was 28, had blocked tubes. So after five years of marriage with no baby, I pulled the plug on the relationship. My second marriage which just ended last August was to a very bright woman from the Republic of Panama. She saw my dating service ads online and began talking to me by phone, and by Internet. She was 34 years old in 1997 and I was 50. She had never been married so she didn't bring any baby daddy mess to the relationship. She had a college degree. She was an attractive, medium to dark brown skin woman. She spoke excellent English with a heavy Spanish accent.

We discussed having children, and she assured me that when she found the right man she wanted to begin having children right away. She came to America and spent a week with me when she had business on the East Coast. During the summer of 1999, she called me to tell me that she was going into the hospital for an operation to correct Fibroids in her reproductive area. My heart fell then. I know enough about female anatomy to know that quite often after that type of surgery, women are no longer able to have children.

During September of 1999, she moved here to live with me and get married. The Panama canal was being transferred to the Panamanians, and the American military was shutting down MOST of their bases in Panama. So thousands of locals were going to be out of work; including Rosamunda.

She survived the operation OK, but we were unable to have sex for 90 ninety until she healed. Rosamunda was a very high status woman in panama. She was high up in the banking industry there. Coming to Cape was a tremendous letdown for her. No matter how many resumes she sent out, or places she visited she was unable to find any sort of work.

Cape Girardeau is the home townof Rush Limbaugh. It is about 45,000 in number, around ninety percent hostile, ultra conservative Caucasians. She had come from a country that was mostly black and where black people had lots of powerful positions. One morning in August of 2000, around 3:00 AM I awoke and noticed that she was not in bed. So I got up and walked into the living room. She was not there either, but the front door was open.


So I walked outside and there she was walking in circles crying for her mother to come and get her. So I put my arm around her and took her back inside comforting here. She was trembling and crying for a long time after that. I had tried to explain to her before she arrived, how racially hostile these Limbaugh loving Caucasians could be. The White people didn’t care how much education she had. She was still just a “GG” to them.

Griselda was a sophisticated lady from head to toe. When she got up in the morning, she bathed, fixed her hair, made sure her clothes looked sharp, polished her nails and shoes. She fixed her lovely REAL short , nappy black hair and she looked wonderful. The black women didn’t like they couldn’t figure out how such a dark skinned woman, could speak with such a Spanish accent. So she continued to go downhill until one day in September of 2000, she told me she was leaving and going to New York to be with her family and find a good job opportunity.

She flew off, and three weeks later she called to tell me that she had found a good job in the accounting division of one of the major networks, paying $25,00 an hour. I knew she would do better there, but I was amazed at how quickly she found her footing. I asked her how did she do it. She told me “You are always talking about how many degrees you have, but as I kept telling you America isn’t about degrees, it is about WHO you know; not WHAT you know. I put out the word that I had lots of banking experience in Panama, and in no time at all I was called to go in for a job interview. The woman like me and she hired me” I asked Rosmunda, how many black people work with you?” She responded “Just me and my boss along with about fifty whites” I asked her from whence her boss hailed” She replied “The republic of Panama” Ah hah! So I told her to make sure she watches her bosses back and hopefully her boss watches hers.

So I stayed married to her until August of last year when I received divorce papers from her. She seems to be doing fine now, but she says she never wants to return to Cape Girardeau. I can’t say that I blame her at all.

Anyway, back to the original thread. Now I’m sixty years young and still without children. Rosamunda decided after she got here that she was no longer interested in having children. Surprise! Surprise!

In my younger days when I lived in Italy, if my girlfriend was a few days late on her question mark, she would push me down to the pharmacia where I was able to purchase something like the Morning After pill. It would bring on her bidness in a day or so. Alma Bonetto went out of her little village and had an abortion. Mary Hilyard, claimed she had a miscarriage. Cindy Edwards, Caucasian, had a child by me in 1985, and told all of her close black and white friends that I was the father.


Then when I asked her about it, she said “Hell no it isn’t your kid and don’t ask me again” She then gave it up for adoption and told family services that she didn’t know who the father was. So I moved to Seattle for two and a half years. When I came back I inquired about the child, and again Donald Mitchell told me that she said it was mine. I ran into Cindy about ten years ago at the airport. I asked her if she remembered me, and she said she did. I asked her if she had time to talk to me about the child, and she said she wasn’t interested. She walked on over to a table where are White coworkers were sitting. I didn’t pursue it any further because I know there were about five of them and just one of me.

So I have been searching for that child since 1987 with no luck.

Folks, I come from a very aristocratic family here that has not one, but TWO streets in wealthy White neighborhoods named after my mothers side of the family. According to some old clippings my mother has saved, my great grandfather Forest Lacey was the “wealthiest colored man in the area, and he had more land than any blacks, and most whites”. None of my mother’s sisters, or my mother had children outside of marriage. We came together every Sunday in the country for dinner. Not once even with over a dozen people in the house did my family get into a physical fight with each other. I don’t remember them even having a loud disagreement. It was love and harmony whenever I was around.

Now me personally, I am the only Black player in the over 100 year history of the high school here to play on the Tennis team. I was the number one player my junior and senior year. I went undefeated my senior year; eleven and zero I believe. I went to State that year and placed first in front of the person who finished in the rear.

I went to the university for two years, then was called to the Army. Being a brainwashed "Needtogrow" at the time, I felt the Army wouldn’t teach me anything except how to kill people. So I enlisted in the Air Force where they quickly made me a cop, teaching me how to kill people. After three years of that, I crossed over into Air Traffic Control which was an amazing job. I got more satisfaction from doing that than anything else I have ever done. After four years of that I crossed into the computer operator filed. I have worked with computers every day since then for eight to twelve hours a day.

More importantly, I have stayed away from illegal drug use, avoided the criminal justice system, have not become a sexual pervert, and have managed to maintain my sanity and dignity despite the grinding daily pressure of living in this White Supremacist minded Nation.

Now! If I had a young daughter, say 18, and she same home telling me that a 60 year old man wanted to hit it off with her, I would be very concerned. I would wonder why a man of that age would want my daughter other than for sexual purposes. However, instead of going wild about it,


I would ask the man to meet me someplace and sit down and pick his brain, hopefully he has one, and discover why he is interested in my daughter. I would also check out his background. If I found he was a criminal, abuser of drugs, or people, con artist, bi-sexual, or any of those other negative dangerous lifestyle, I would them let him know he is not welcome regardless of what my daughter wants. I would show the information to my daughter and hope she would be wise enough to know for herself that this is a person she should avoid regardless of how much money he appears to have, or what he claims to be. If she didn’t listen to me, then I would discreetly put things together that would result in this fellow assuming room temperature very quietly.

Now if I discovered that he was a decent fellow, who just had luck in choosing women, and he was the last male on his fathers side, as I am, my closes cousin is the Chairman of the Harlem Globetrotters team, but his name is Jackson; not Benson. His grandfather and my father were first cousins, then I would allow him to date my daughter, if that was her wish. After all what can a nice, ethical, and moralistic 60 year old to a young woman that an 18 year can’t do more often?

If all she could find her age was the typical thuggish looking and acting young brothas that I see around here, I would be much happier if she picked the older guy. Anyone who wants their children to date these young gangstas and gangsta wannabee’s, is not , to my mind a parent who really wants the best for their children

Unfortunately, in the black community there are tremendous numbers of unethical, immoral black men and women of all ages. Those people who live by the idea of “Get what you want by any means necessary?


So in closing, I think the bottom line for our children is that they find someone who genuinely loves them and respects them. Once a person is 18 or over, they generally know whether they feel comfortable with someone or not, regardless of their age. I think the black community would be much better served, if the women married serious minded men who want to love them, raise a family WITH them, and together they build the best life they can for themselves and their children.

Is there anyone else out there who can relate to what I’ve said here?

And so it goes

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Don’t hide your number when you call. I don’t answer those kinds of calls. If someone desires to enter my home electronically, or physically, they must identify themselves. If they are on the up and up, why wouldn’t they?

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